It’s that time again: Valentine’s Day is the holiday to show our beloved just how much we care. But on occasion, it doesn’t really work. No matter how hard you try to make your significant other smile, even the most thoughtful gift can turn into a terrible cringefest. Check out the worst of the worst Valentine’s Day fails that ever happened, and appreciate the joys of being single!
Yuck Is Too Kind
When it comes to the intimate aisle, most like to browse alone. It’s always awkward when there is another shopper within eye range. Given what sensitive products are sold there, this Valentine’s Day sign seems a bit out of place, not to mention creepy. Right under the gels, there is a sign asking you to ‘share the love with your dad’. We really hope this was placed there by accident!
Hopefully, this was done unintentionally by a lazy employee. Maybe he slapped these hearts all around the store without a second thought. Everyone hopes that is the case, anyway!
They Clearly Know What Hearts Are
When it’s time to order a cake, you have two options. You can invest time in the kitchen and bake something with love. That’s always a great ingredient. But if you’re short on time, it’s also acceptable to pay for a professional to create a treat. Here, we see that someone gave Valentine’s Day instructions to the shop. This came back, and it is strangely literal. It says ‘heart-shaped cake’.
Obviously, someone wanted a cake shaped like a heart, not a cake that claimed to be one. We hope someone has a sense of humor in this story, or at the very least, some appetite for cake!
Romance Reality Check
We’ve probably all had a crush on our friends, at some point, It’s a real question if that is a friendship at all or a waiting period before we can make our move. Often, the other person had no idea what our real motives are. This V-Day message shows that eternal struggle, and it doesn’t turn out well for the suitor. Here, he wishfully remarks that he and his gal pal look like a couple. What is her reply?
Well, she explains they look like a couple of besties, nothing more and nothing less. We know that’s not what he really wanted to hear. But sometimes, the truth hurts!
That’s Not What You’re Supposed to Put It on
The ER is a wild place, pretty much all the time. We’ve heard about all kinds of emergency room horror stories. And when it’s time for the X-ray, all is revealed. It’s surprising, frankly, what gets lodged up where the sun doesn’t shine. This pic shows what seems to be an engagement ring stuck in the middle of a woman’s body. How on earth did it get there? It seems to near her kidneys!
This looks like the end result of a wedding proposal gone wrong. Her beau must have placed the ring in some food or champagne, and she failed to notice. We just hope the doctors were able to retrieve it!
The Slickest 7th Grader
Middle school is the time when boys and girls stop being friends and start being boyfriends and girlfriends. It’s a more innocent time, to be sure. This story reminds us of how things used to be, in case we’ve forgotten. In 7th grade, this girl went to a movie theater with a boy. In the middle of the showing, he asked her if she wanted a kiss. What did he mean by that?
Well, we suspect he wanted a smooch. But to avoid rejection and embarrassment, he pulled out a chocolate kiss. That’s what experts call plausible deniability. Such a smart move!
It’s Time for a Refund
Sometimes, before and after delivery photos from Amazon and eBay are real nightmares. Customers often don’t receive what they expect from an online order, to put it lightly. And this is no different, even though it’s a special V-Day delivery. This floral lion looked great in the picture, but it looks a lot more like a melted dog in the light of day. Dogs are lovable, too. But this just doesn’t cut it!
In this case, a complete refund was warranted. The only problem is that it’s pretty tricky to get a quick replacement. This is the busiest flower day of the year!
A Gift From the Heart
These days, women have branched out from their traditional roles. Sure, many prefer to stay home and cook and clean. But others enjoy expressing themselves out in the world professionally. This boyfriend decided he wanted to give a special present to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. He thought hard, and this is what he came up with. What would warm a girl’s heart more than anything? Cooking and cleaning supplies, obviously.
We see Mr. Perfect found everything: Dish soap, an iron, canola oil, and liquid seasoning. But honestly, we don’t really buy his smile. This is really a gift for himself!
That’s Not Creepy at All
When it comes to the day of love, many people present a box of chocolates to their lovers. Other popular choices are bouquets of flowers or jewelry. But regardless, it always comes with a card. How many people buy them? According to Hallmark: “Approximately 145 million Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged industry-wide (not including packaged kids’ valentines for classroom exchanges), making Valentine’s Day the second-largest holiday for giving greetings cards.”
Well, that’s a lot of folks. We wonder if this card was all that was left at the store for a boyfriend running late. He has crossed out the word ‘granddaughter’ and written in ‘girlfriend’. Pretty creepy!
A One Stop Shop
On February 14, your shopping list is long. You want to get cards for everyone you care about. For those who are extra special, you might need fancy boxes of chocolate and flowers. Candles, bubble bath, and other items enhance the day, too, but all this stuff requires a few trips around town. Don’t you wish you had a one-stop shop to get it all? Here, at Your X Store, you can!
This place has it all: Candy, candles, pepper spray. Why the spray? If things go wrong, we suppose it could come in handy. Hope for the best, plan for the worst!
The Most Romantic Gift of All
Kissing a special someone is usually an intimate experience, but apparently, that intimacy is between you, your significant other, and a gazillion germs. According to WebMD: “A typical human mouth contains billions of bacteria. If you haven’t brushed your teeth lately, you might well have more living there right now than there are people on Earth.” Way to kill the vibe, science! But here’s a handy solution to this disgusting problem.
How about giving them the gift of a nice, freshly scraped tongue this Valentine’s Day? Nothing says ‘I love you’ like telling someone they have a dirty mouth!
Special Edition Netflix and Chill
At any given time, millions of people are sad, lonely, and single on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps you’ve even experienced that pain yourself. For those looking to spice up their even in front of the TV, we bring you the V-Day TV dinner. The food is probably no better than any other microwave meal, but we love the heart-shaped box! It’s truly a nice touch when you want to spruce up a sad evening all by your lonesome.
Next year, we hope you will not have to resort to this sad dinner option, but it is better than nothing, for now. At least it’s not a depressing rectangle!
Such a Pretty Princess
When we love someone, they are the most beautiful person in the world. At least in our eyes, no one compares! This Valentine’s Day card tried to communicate that sweet sentiment with a special little mirror. We love the idea that the card lets a gal look at herself, and even called her a princess. But the plastic material ended up distorting human features more than anything else. This is ugly stuff!
Who could be more of a princess than you? That’s really the wrong question here. We want to know: Who designed this mess, and why are they getting paid to do this?
No It Is Not
They say that friends are the family you choose. That’s a sweet sentiment, but here, we see a V-Day card has decided to use this idea and give it a new angle. A girlfriend is a sister you choose, it explains. We can’t say we agree with this idea, though. We sure hope that’s not the case! It’s illegal in all 50 states, with no sign of change. As it should be!
Maybe this is really about girls who are friends with girls. We could see that as a decent card, but more than likely, many shoppers will be disturbed first. We don’t blame them!
We Hope It Tastes Nice
Some say that baking is a science. Others say it is an art. The truth is that it might be a bit of both, and practice makes perfect. Here, we can see that a kitchen amateur tried to impress her lover with her cookie skills, but they are not quite there. Pretend I am a giant heart? He can’t do that if he is honest. This is a big, crumbly mess!
At the end of the day, it’s the thought that counts. And it’s likely that this confection tasted great, even it looks bad. That’s what really matters in your mouth!
The Perfect Gift Doesn’t Exis-
It’s tough to find the perfect V-Day gift for your wife, no question about it. But if anyone out there listened to this newspaper ad, we assume it was the end of the relationship. A funeral home thought they would be clever and advertise on the holiday. The result was horrifying, as we would expect. Till death do them part was part of the bargain, sure. But why talk about it today?
Making prearrangements for caskets on Valentine’s Day sounds terrible. Even people with a dark sense of humor are unlikely to enjoy this suggestion. It’s awful!
This Doesn’t Even Seem Legal
In this day and age, we often hear about creepy dates gone wrong. And women are often warned about the red flags. Commonly, they are told to never leave their drinks unattended at a bar, even if their date seems nice. Here, we see a pretty good reason why. Right in the Valentine’s Day section, there is a package of ‘sudden sleep’ pills for women. For what purpose are they sold, really?
It sounds pretty nefarious if you think about it. We’d like to think this is just a gag gift put there by a cheeky worker. We sincerely hope this is just a joke!
Kids Say the Darndest Things
Valentine’s Day isn’t just a holiday for lovers. It is also a day when kids give cards to everyone in the class, as well as to their beloved relatives. Here, a youngster wanted to show mom just how much he cared, and he took the time to draw this handwritten note. We love the picture of the school bus. So accurate! But as when we get to the message itself, it’s a little confusing.
He tells his mom she is doing a great job by not burping at his bus stop. Why was this going on before? We don’t know, but we are intrigued.
Together Isn’t Always Better
According to the latest stats, the rate of divorce is decreasing in the United States. That’s good news since we’ve been hearing about a terrifying 50-50 split risk for so many years. It’s still pretty high, though. Here, we see that an easy kit for the paperwork is on display in an Office Depot store. It’s right under a V-Day sign, oddly. Are they trying to tell us something?
We’d like to think that this is just accidental product placement. Hopefully, there is no cynical technique here, but these days, you really never know!
You Grease My Heart
Bacon is the greasiest and yummiest of all breakfast meats. Sausage patties are certainly a close second, but for Valentine’s Day, only real bacon would do. To show his lady she was something special, one man carefully wrapped those crispy strips around fake roses. He used a hot glue gun to secure them on the stems. The result looked like bacon roses, just as he planned. What a craft!
It’s unconventional, yes. But maybe he will get points for his creativity. Many women expect to receive 12 fresh roses and a box of chocolate on the holiday. Truthfully, it’s overdone!
Cuddle Control
When it’s time to cuddle, it’s best if a big, bulky garment is not in the way. This V-Day gift is a little silly, and it certainly does that. It’s a full-body pod, knitted in thick wool. This girl’s legs are totally restrained, and there are no holes for her hands, either. She looks like a giant baby, warm and cozy. We don’t know why her lover wanted to hide her away like this, though!
Next year, we suggest less restrictive gifts. What was wrong with some classic lingerie?
Nicolas Cage Treasures You
There are no fans like Nicolas Cage fans. Critics say that his delivery is terrible and boring. But his admirers know there is something special about him, even if the rest of us can’t always see it. Directors keep casting him in blockbusters like Gone in 60 Seconds and Face/Off. But the adventure that most associate him with lately is National Treasure. Here, we see that performance has inspired a Valentine. That’s a first!
For a certain type of lady, this might work wonders. But there is a big chance this could backfire. There are just as many Cage haters as lovers out there!
Next Level Romance
At Mickey D’s, there’s something for everyone. If you like pork, there’s the McRib. If you’re a beef buff, you’ve got hamburgers at every level of meat. And if you’re a fish fan, they have that, too. Today is Valentine’s Day, and you might assume that the entire menu is off-limits. Yet, here we are looking at two McChicken orders. In the middle, there’s a candle image on a smartphone.
It’s almost too sad to be real: Is this actually someone’s idea of romance? What a cheap-o move! The suitor here likely ended up eating alone for two. Pass him the McChicken Sauce, please.