Family relationships are complicated and so are relationships between in laws, especially the one between a mother in law and daughter in law. Mostly, this relationship is filled with a natural tension because of the competition. In the case of relationship between Jen Stevens and her mother in law, there were several reasons which contributed to the strain in the relationship. Her mother-in-law, however, had made it difficult to be around her, and from undermining her actions to insulting her name, it sufficed for Jen to speak to her mom about it.
Meet Jen and Onyx
Jen Stevens and Onyx Solaris had been dating for five years and were very much in love. The couple lived in Berkeley, California, in an educational and residential community that was regarded as one of the best places to live in California. They lived in a cute apartment Jen’s mom had helped them purchase.
Jen was an assistant lecturer in civil engineering at The University of California, Berkeley. Onyx was a ceramicist who had a beautiful studio where he made beautiful bowls, plates, and mugs.
Jen’s Background
Like many couples, Jen and Onyx came from different backgrounds. Jen’s family was a regular middle-class one. She had grown up in Boston surrounded by her family, who loved and supported her while instilling in her the importance of a solid education and a steady career.
She focused on her studies and did well in school. However, her life didn’t revolve purely around academics. Jen loved the outdoors and enjoyed being surrounded by nature. This love of nature brought her and Onyx together.
Onyx’s Background
While Jen was open about her childhood, Onyx wasn’t entirely open. He didn’t speak much about his childhood and, from the little he said, Jen deduced that it had been the opposite of her own.
From what Onyx told her, he had been allowed to do whatever he wished without much adult supervision. He didn’t start school until he was 12, and the importance of a good education wasn’t drilled into him the way it was drilled into Jen. Jen knew there were some difficult times in his youth, but he never told her the details.
Just Married
After five years of dating, the couple decided to tie the knot. They were sure they loved each other and were eager to spend the rest of their lives together.
The couple married by the coast with only close friends and family in attendance and went hiking in British Columbia for their honeymoon. They returned home elated and ready to start their lives as a married couple. If only Jen knew that her limits were about to be tested.
Not What She Was Expecting
After their wedding, Onyx’s mom moved to Berkeley to be closer to her son. Jen’s parents lived all the way on the East Coast, so she was glad to have her mother-in-law nearby. They hadn’t spent much time around each other, and she was eager to make a good impression.
Jen knew the relationship between her husband and his mom was complicated, but Onyx seemed ready to give her a second chance, and Jen was ready to help make things work. However, it didn’t take her long to realize that her life would be miserable with her mother-in-law around.
Meet Sequoia Solaris
Onyx’s mom’s name was Sequoia Solaris. She wasn’t your quintessential mother-in-law. Sequoia had long, blonde dreadlocks woven with colorful threads and decorated with colorful beads.
Her skin was tanned and wrinkled, and she wore long, wafty linen clothing. She had an almost delicate gait and spoke in a breathy, ethereal voice. Sequoia always had something to say and opinions to give – solicited or not.
Not Good Enough
Jen did her best to get along with Sequoia, but the harder she tried, the more it proved impossible. Sequoia burnt sage to “purify” the air whenever she came to their apartment. Sequoia went through the contents of their food cupboards, tutting as she examined each one.
She gave Jen opinions on how to manage her home better. Once, she even told Jen that she had a negative aura and feared this was stifling Onyx’s creativity. Jen thought Sequoia couldn’t be any worse, but she had no idea her mother-in-law was just getting started.
Great News
A few months after Sequoia moved to Berkeley, Jen and Onyx discovered they were expecting a baby. The couple was delighted, as they’d always planned to have kids.
They told Sequoia about the pregnancy the next time she came to visit. She congratulated them while she laid her head on Jen’s stomach and muttered some kind of mantra. Jen felt awkward and looked at her husband for help, but he turned away. At that moment, she realized the pregnancy wouldn’t be easy with Sequoia around.
Always There
Sequoia seemed to always be around from the day she was told about the pregnancy. She constantly monitored Jen and ensured she drank the special tea she brewed.
She took an interest in everything Jen did and everywhere she went. When Jen went to the hospital for medical checks, Sequoia screamed at her and tried to discourage her from going to the hospital.
The Couple Talks About It
As the pregnancy progressed, Jen had more issues with Sequoia. It seemed that Sequoia always had an opposing idea to whatever decision Jen made. Whatever she ate wasn’t good enough, and Sequoia was always asking if Jen wanted to expose her grandbaby to all those toxins.
Jen wasn’t the only one exasperated by Sequoia’s actions; her son was, too. However, Onyx didn’t want to say anything that would hurt his mother. He encouraged Jen to humor her, gently adding that she’d always been a little odd.
A Better Name
Jen tried to be patient with Sequoia, but it was difficult to do that when Sequoia was constantly harping on about her name. She’d say, “ Oh, Jen, I don’t mean to be offensive, but your parents really chose a common name. I mean, Jen? It’s so basic and boring. I really wish they went with a more unique name.”
“I’d always wanted my kids to have unique names with beautiful meanings. Onyx sure is unique, don’t you think? Honey, I hope you’ll do a better job than your parents when naming your child. I’d be devastated if my grandbaby is saddled with a banal name that lacks energy,” she added. It was all Jen could do to give her a tight smile and a little nod.
A Meltdown
Although Jen managed a smile after Sequoia blatantly name-shamed her, she was seething inside. That night, she broke down.
She was exhausted from the pregnancy and tired of Sequoia constantly nagging and judging her. She tried hard to be impervious to Sequoia’s actions and words, but they were getting to her, and she wished Sequoia would just stop.
A Conversation With Onyx
That same night, as she stretched out on the couch, feeling exhausted, Onyx massaged her feet and tried to comfort her. He told her he knew his mom was a lot to take, but she was all he had left.
“I appreciate how much effort you make with her. Of course, we ultimately decide our baby’s name, but humor her in the meantime. I’m sure things will get better,” he assured her. Jen didn’t have the strength to argue or fight. She was still upset but didn’t want to get into a fight with Onyx over Sequoia.
Venting to Mom
The next day, Jen video-called her mom, Amy, to talk to her about what was happening. She explained the situation to her mom, confident she could offer some perspective.
Amy listened to her daughter and was mad that her mother-in-law was making her life miserable. When she was told about the name-shaming, she couldn’t believe Sequoia would cast such aspersions on Jen’s name. Jen was named after her grandmother, and Amy was hurt that Sequoia had said such mean things.
A Promise
Jen told her mom everything, and her mom listened. Amy experienced various feelings, from disbelief and rage to hurt and disappointment. When Jen was done speaking, Amy assured her she wouldn’t let Sequoia get away with it.
“Just wait, sweetie. I’ll teach that self-important hippie a valuable lesson,” she told her. They said their goodbyes, and Jen hung up, feeling better. She couldn’t have predicted her mom’s next step. Little did she know that it’d start a chain of events that would threaten to drive her family apart.
Back in Boston
Amy felt concerned and worried. She’d always known there was something off about Onyx’s family since he was so tight-lipped about his past. With the recent turn of events, she was determined to get to the bottom of it.
Sequoia had been mean to Jen and insulted her family, and Amy was determined to make her feel how she felt. Amy faintly remembered hearing something about a Solaris family years ago, and she was prepared to do some digging.
Doing Research
Amy got herself a cup of coffee and got to work. The first thing she did was Google the name Sequoia Solaris. The results were disappointing, as most were from Sequoia’s social media or pictures of redwood trees.
Amy kept searching, and after a few hours, her efforts paid off. She found an article in a computerized archive of The San Francisco Chronicle that mentioned the Solaris family.
A Shocking Discovery
The more Amy read, the more she struggled to keep her mouth closed. She couldn’t believe what she was reading and how fortunate she was to have stumbled upon it. Reading the article, Amy realized why Onyx didn’t discuss his childhood, it was beyond anything she could’ve imagined.
She assumed Jen didn’t know the story. She did further research, digging deeper into Sequoia’s past. In a matter of hours, she had all the information she needed.
Biding Her Time
Once Amy had all the information she needed, her first thought was to call Jen and tell her everything. She knew her daughter would want to know everything but decided not to tell her over the phone; she would wait and do it in person.
If she talked to Jen in person, she could also confront Sequoia. Amy was a calm, sensible person, but something about Sequoia ticked her off. She hated Sequoia’s self-importance and how she made Jen feel small. She couldn’t wait to put Sequoia in her place.
The Perfect Occasion
Jen and Onyx were having a baby shower, which was the perfect occasion Amy needed. The whole family would be flying in from Boston. The last time everyone got together like that was for the wedding.
Jen and Onyx were excited to see everyone show up for the baby shower. They were glad to be surrounded by loved ones who had joined them to celebrate the coming of the new addition to their family. No one had any idea what Amy was planning.
Amy Meets Sequoia
Amy arrived in Berkeley a few days before the shower. She stayed with Jen and Onyx, and she helped them prepare for the party. She couldn’t stop thinking about the secret, and it was all she could do not to spill it. Sequoia arrived, and the two women politely greeted each other.
Amy tried to mask the distaste on her face as she took in Sequoia’s dreadlocks, but Jen noticed it. Sequoia wasn’t impressed with the sheet cake Amy had bought from Costco. “Jen, darling, you shouldn’t eat that processed muck. I brought some raw vegan carob cookies for you,” Sequoia stated. Jen looked over at Amy, and they both rolled their eyes.
Time to Spill
A few minutes after meeting Amy, Sequoia had already shared her opinion about her family and their “regular person” choices.
Amy’s initial plan was to wait until the party had progressed a bit before revealing what she had learned about the Solarises. However, Sequoia’s behavior made Amy’s blood boil, and she couldn’t hold it in any longer.
The Big Reveal
Sequoia had walked over to where the gifts were and was inspecting them with a concerned look on her face. She was about to call Jen over when Amy intercepted her.
“Excuse me, Sequoia, but I couldn’t help but notice how unique your last name is,” she said sweetly. Sequoia looked proud and answered, “ Yes, Solaris is a family name.” Amy nodded slowly, “Yes, I thought I’d heard that name before. It’s a shame what happened to your family. Or, should I say, your cult?”
Children of the Sun
The room went silent, and everyone stared at Amy and Sequoia. Jen was confused, having no idea what her mom meant. Onyx looked like he’d had all the blood drained from his face.
“That’s right,” Amy continued. “I know everything. Why did you not tell Jen you were members of a cult called the Children of the Sun? Are you ashamed of your past?” Sequoia turned red.
Amy Explains
Amy stared at Sequoia, silently daring her to say something. She figured the others were still confused, and turned to explain everything to everyone. Amy told them that the Solaris family had been key members in a cult called the Children of the Sun, a nature-loving cult that began with the flower power movement in the ’60s.
She explained that all the members had taken new names, which was where Sequoia’s name had come from. But it wasn’t all rainbows and smiles.
Not Great Activities
Amy revealed that the Children of the Sun had been involved in a massive scandal about 20 years ago. The authorities investigated the cult and stormed their compound after learning about certain not-so-great activities.
The cult had been disbanded, and the leader had been branded a fraud. Sequoia’s partner, Leaf Solaris, had been a part of the questionable activities, and he was still behind bars. Onyx looked pale as he gripped Jen’s hand.
Final Admonishment
The shock in the room was palpable. Amy slowly turned back to look at Sequoia. “I hope you’ll stop making Jen feel bad for lifestyle choices, beliefs, and her name.”
“I know you think that the name is tame and not as unique as the fabulous ‘Sequoia,’ but we all know how you got that name now, and it’s not exactly something you should be proud of,” she ended with a small smile on her lips.
Sequoia’s Reaction
Sequoia’s skin matched her son’s. “H-How did you…?” She trailed off. She composed herself and continued with more vigor, “ How dare you go around digging up my past and sharing the details?!”
“I’m not ashamed of what happened,” Sequoia continued, “and I’m not scared of letting people know about it either. But it’s my right to choose when and how I tell people.”
Get Off Your High Horse
Amy’s smile disappeared, and she looked a little sheepish. She cleared her throat and defended her actions, “ I know you judge my family for being boring and conventional. I also know you feel you’re better than us.”
“I just wanted people to know that being ‘unique’ and ‘alternative’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” Amy said.
Shock and Horror
Jen was both shocked to hear the truth and horrified at how her mother had revealed it. She had revealed every detail of the Solaris family’s dark past in front of all their friends at the party.
Yes, she knew Sequoia had stepped out of line too many times and she’d daydreamed about getting back at her, but she never imagined that her mother would stoop so low.
More Problems
And then there was Onyx. Jen finally understood what caused his childhood issues. She understood why he found it difficult to talk about it, but she couldn’t help but wonder what that said about their relationship.
Did Onyx not trust her enough? Did he think she’d judge him based on his past? Jen thought about the problems her mom had caused. She knew her mom had been trying to help, but it turned out she’d ended up causing more problems.
How the Night Ended
After Amy’s revelations, it was difficult to revive the party spirit, and the baby shower ended on a somber note. Jen and Onyx had cleaned up in silence; each lost in their own thoughts. Sequoia had left angrily, and they hadn’t heard from her since.
Jen’s parents had flown back to Boston. Amy realized that she had ruined the party and felt guilty for causing a scene. However, she refused to apologize to Sequoia. That night, Jen and Onyx lay awake long into the night, replaying the day’s events in their heads.
A Few Days Later
Everyone had cooled off after a few days, and emotions weren’t as high. Jen and Onyx had a long talk about his childhood. He opened up about experiences and how his family had fallen apart when the cult disbanded.
Jen was glad that the secret had come to light, even though she was unhappy that it wasn’t revealed the right way. She called her mom and spoke to her about her actions. Amy apologized for losing it at the baby shower. Everything seemed to be back to normal. The only problem was they were still unable to reach Sequoia.
Sequoia Returns
The couple heard a familiar tinkling knock at the door the following day. Jen knew only one person who knocked that way – Sequoia. Onyx welcomed her back and, as she entered, Jen could smell the familiar scent of her patchouli oil.
“Hi, Sequoia,” Jen said in a small voice. “I’m so sorry about what happened. My mom was way out of line, and I’m sorry she exposed everything the way she did,” she said contritely.
Sequoia’s Reply
Sequoia was silent for several seconds. When she spoke, it wasn’t in the usual wispy tones Jen had always heard. Sequoia said, “ Jen, I should be the one apologizing. I understand why your mom behaved the way she did.”
“Everything she said was true,” she continued. “I have been judging you and sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. And I haven’t been particularly helpful to you in your condition. Despite everything that happened, I still hold the Children of the Sun very close to my heart. But trying to force our beliefs on you wasn’t fair of me.”
Mending Bridges
Jen hugged Sequoia, and both women started laughing. Ultimately, they both wanted what was best for the baby, and there was no need for animosity between them. Jen was glad something good had come out of her failed baby shower.
They talked more, and Sequoia agreed to stop butting in and trying to force Jen to accept her beliefs. She agreed to allow Jen to make her own decisions. Jen told Sequoia she’d always be welcome in their house and that she’d love to have her help with the baby.
A Bundle of Joy
A few months later, the couple welcomed a baby girl. They were thrilled, and could barely take their eyes off their beautiful baby. A few days after their daughter was born, they invited both grandmothers to meet their grandchild.
Onyx and Jen shared a smile as they got ready to reveal the baby’s name. “We’ve decided to name her Sage to continue the nature name tradition,” Jen said while facing Sequoia. “And her middle name is Amy, Mom.” Both grandmothers were positively beaming, with tears in their eyes!